Emily and I broke up.


I am not happy about it, of course, so I apologize if this post is somewhat depressing and emotional. But hey, my blog is merely a reflection of things I notice, and when you're sad, you notice sad things.

I was gripping a movie today, and all I was doing was sitting by myself and watching the truck. It surprised me, because I began to have a really good, meaningful inner monologue. You see, this hasn't happened in some time, so I decided to write it down, and since I can think of no better way to talk about it than to post it online for the entire world can see, here's what I like to call "Written on Three Napkins at One O'Clock". Maybe I'll scan the napkins to prove their authenticity...

"As I have nothing much to really do, I find myself pacing in and out of the shadows (it being too hot in the light to wear my jacket and too cold in the shade to not), and I make this record of what I think and feel.

It would not do our relationship justice to say, "we were good together" or "we were happy" because we still ARE good together and we still DO make each other happy - which makes this all the more difficult to cope with.

- A car just drove by playing the Moving Units.

- The walkie-talkie calls for a second rehearsal for the third time, and Arvin walks by.

It would be a real loss if out of this came nothing to be learned, so, here is what I guess I have learned. Sometimes the person you love and the person you want does not converge upon the same fortunate soul. And if you find yourself in such a scenario, you can consider yourself truly unfortunate, for the will of the mind will never override the want of the heart.

- Daniel walks over and tells me to keep the mags out of the sun. Daniel leaves. Stephan (one of the directors) walks over. He asks if I'm okay with nothing to do. I say I'm cool. The walkie talkie calls me. They are impressed that I'm not asleep (so am I). Confusion about what they want. Turns out they want the mags Daniel told me to watch. So, I watch them get taken away.

- My film-bracelet itches. Yes, a bracelet. You find something to do all day... I bet you'd make one too.

- The food is here, which means the crew is on their way back.

- The script supervisor walks by and asks if I'm writing poetry. I tell her, "Prose, actually." She must think I'm really arty - how ironic. I'm tired of writing."

So, that's it. And yes, a bracelet. There was some scrap 35mm negative on the ground, so I cut it up and taped it together. It was about that time when I wrote this whole thing that I decided to put it online - hence the use of 2nd person verbs...

Ah, but this entry is not done yet. Time for bittersweet and/or depressing media. Remember, I'm a very visual person, so when I get depressed, I get depressed with VISUAL AIDS!!



Here's a picture of some thing I saw yesterday spray-painted on the side of a building.



Here's the sky as I saw it, lying down today and doing nothing. It was actually very nice.



In fact, the sky was SO nice today, and I was SO bored, that I attempted to do some time-lapse movies with my camera phone. So, here's a movie with all off the time-lapses I made. (Click picture to view movie. It's 1.3 Megs)




Almost done, kids. Now, I hate to quote Gilbert and Sullivan, but it's in my head and it seems fitting. So....

Ko-Ko: On this subject I pray you be dumb —

All
Dumb — dumb!

Ko-Ko
Your notions, though many,
Are not worth a penny,
The word for your guidance is "Mum" —

All
Mum — Mum!

Ko-Ko
You've a very good bargain in me:

All
On this subject we pray you be dumb —
Dumb — dumb!
We think you had better succumb —
Cumb — cumb!
You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny,
Who'll wed for a penny,
There are lots of good fish in the sea,
There are lots of good fish in the sea,
There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea,
There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea,
In the sea, in the sea, in the sea, in the sea:


OKAY, one last thing. I really do appreciate everyone's sympathy and kind words, but please don't comment and tell me how horrible all this is, or how sorry you are or anything like that. Just comment and leave me some love, for love is all you need. Thanks, guys.

P.S. I lied. I LOVE to quote Gilbert and Sullivan...

Edit: I uploaded the pictures of the napkins fornoparticularreason. There's here and here and here. Just in case you're interested. I don't know why you would be, but just in case...

posted at 3:45 PM
  

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yay i was 17000!

Posted by  Anonymous : December 13, 2005 9:50 PM

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