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| Monday, December 29, 2003 This entry is dedicated to my baby — The Internet. O the Internet! How I adore thee. Should you only bestow upon mine humble, unworthy life The bountiful gift of free porn It would have been enough And I would have been thankful. But Alas, O the Internet! Your requited love strengthens As you allow me to finish traffic school In only twenty minutes of the day. Your wondrous gifts have made me happy O the Internet, You are surely are a mechanical Hanging Gardens of Babylon; A technological marvel of the modern world. O the Internet, How I love you.
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