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| Thursday, September 04, 2003 Why do I have a history of attraction to unappreciative girls? Am I so horrible that I do not deserve a normal relationship? OH Josh, stop feeling sorry for yourself! HEeeEY! Fuck you third-person voice in my head. I'll feel sorry for myself if I want to! And I do... Why can I not find a resonable girl? What is the problem? Why have I been attracted to girls who couldn't care less whether or not I liked them. Girls who have no clue what I do for them. Have I done something so horrible, so offensive to somebody at some time that I do not deserve a good relationship? Do I not deserve a girl I can just have fun with, just watch a movie one night, or talk about stupid things people in my classes have said? Or is it that such a girl does not exist? Where did all the good girls go? Am I beeing too wanting, too desperate? Too anything? Not enough something? Not something? Anything? Does it even matter? What would I do about anything anyway? I would not change. I do not care to change. So why ask these questions? Well, for one, I was staring at my roof thinking about my past relationships. I do not like my past relationships. I do not like my past. It was too easy then. It is too hard now. Are you still reading this? You probably shouldn't be. This is all babbly over-analysis, and I'd seriously be surprised if it made any sense the next time I read it. What?! You're not going to read this. It's boring Yeah third-person voice in my head, you're probably right. I should listen to you more often Damned straight you should. And what was with that blog entry? You're everything you hate. Shut the fuck up and get over it. Yeah, you're right again. Wow, two for two... not too shabby. Thanks!
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