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| Monday, March 17, 2003 against my better judgement, i've decided to post some of my writing online. this is an english paper i wrote using satire based on jonathan swift's A Modest Proposal (please ignore all grammatical and spelling errors, as i've actually only read this thing once):
A major problem facing our high schools is the lack of support for student government, known as Associated Student Body, or ASB. In order to create more enthusiasm for a student run governing system, the school administration should make ASB more powerful. The student government should be allowed to pass any resolutions and rules that it sees fit for the school. Of course, this responsibility is quite great, and cannot be entrusted to a couple dozen students. Therefore, a new legislation system should be created, with no less than 300 students, voted into office, participating. Now, this ?congress? would need a check, in order to keep it from destroying the rights of the students. Therefore, there should be another branch of the student government, one that has the power to enforce the rules passed by the congress. This would be an executing branch, headed by a single elected official, but comprised of an entire cabinet of student advisors. In order to enforce, the rules, the executing branch would need some form of force. For this, I propose that the marching band be given weapons, i.e. guns, tanks, missiles, and whatever else may be needed, all of which would be paid for by monies allocated by the congress. The head of the executing branch would be in charge of this force, and would be able to use it at his or her will. But what if both of the branches of this government work against the rights of the people. For this, I propose a court be created. With judges who would ensure that all citizens at the school be treated equally under the rules established in the congress. This court would have to power, of course, to sentence those deemed as not productive towards the school to death, or another such fitting torture; for without this power, citizens may feel that the courts would not enforce it rulings. Yet, even with all of this power, a student government may still lack the support it needs, and the reason is participation. To solve this problem, it would be required that all student in attendance would participate in government. Now, with the school day being a set length of time, all learning in school would be thrown out of the curriculum, as it detracts from the time that the students should devote towards their government. That is to say that all learning would be gone except for the learning of the glory of ASB, which would be one hour out of the day in which all student would stand, and pledge allegiance to ASB and praise its glory and fairness, and devote their very lives to spreading its magnificence. The rest of the school day would be devoted to participating in government. Those not in ASB office positions would be required to work for the glory of ASB, building monuments, developing weapons for protection, and spreading ASB ideas and policies to other people. This modest proposal, a simple proposition, may not sit well with many. Some may say it goes to far with the idea of student government, but I say that students are able to make up their own minds, and would learn more from participation. However, to those who do not agree, I propose another simple plan. End ASB forever. End it as a class, and end it as even an idea. Take its powers, and give them back to the administration, who went to college and learned how to actually do the job. It is not any student?s place to say which groups get funding, and which do not; I believe that would be the job of a principal.
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